I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
