Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
