I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
