And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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