Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i came on her dog
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
