im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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