i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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