scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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