i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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