If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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