did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
