the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
