I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
