Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
