I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
