I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
