guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
