I feel like abortions should bother me more
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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