i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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