Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
