this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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