Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
