Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
