After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize