operation harelip BJ is a go
We need to rekindle our bromance
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
