he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
