1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize