You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
