Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
