and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
whose ass print is on the piano?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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