he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
