Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
that is very illegal...i love you.
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