theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
