I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize