last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
