I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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