ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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