and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
