If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize