READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
