We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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