I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
