i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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