I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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