Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
