yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
