I think I am morally bankrupt
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Watching her eat just hurts me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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