so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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