You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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