There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
