Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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