I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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