are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
