You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
