I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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