where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
