there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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