Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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