love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
