Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
