Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
